Constructive feedback examples for colleagues

If you’re finding it awkward to deliver constructive feedback to teammates at work, you’re not alone. These days, a lot of people are navigating stress, anxiety, and imposter syndrome. Well-intentioned feedback has the potential to seem harsh. Especially in remote work environments, where we can’t read human expressions, it may be a struggle to convey when we are approaching our feedback delivery from a position of kindness.

Part of our challenge is simply our moment in history. The World Health Organization (WHO) says that the pandemic has caused more ‘mass trauma’ than World War II and will last for years. It’s understandable that people may be struggling to receive and internalize feedback. 

So how can we deliver constructive feedback in a way that respects the receiving party’s feelings? These suggestions will help you strike the right balance.

Criticism vs. constructive feedback

It’s important to make a distinction between criticism and constructive feedback. Here’s how Leon F. Seltzer, an author with dual doctorate degrees in psychology and the English language, explains the nuances:

“Criticism is judgmental, negatively evaluative, and accusatory. As such, it can involve diagnosing (as is psycho-analyzing), labeling, lecturing, moralizing--and even ridiculing,” Dr. Seltzer writes. “Feedback, on the other hand, focuses on providing concrete information that could be helpful in motivating the other person to reconsider their behavior. Rather than being judgmental, it's descriptive.”

Criticism comes from a place of negative assumptions. Feedback, on the other hand, focuses more on results, change, and forward thinking. 

Moreover, criticism has the potential to be destructive to the person receiving it.

“The problem with criticism is that it challenges our sense of value,” writes Tony Schwartz, CEO of the Energy Project for Harvard Business Review. “Criticism implies judgment and we all recoil from feeling judged.”

“Any time we provide feedback with the goal of getting someone to better meet our needs, rather than being responsive to theirs, it’s unlikely to prompt the desired outcome,” he elaborates.

The words we choose can help shift the dynamic. Here are a few strategies to implement:

• Connect your feedback to a goal that your colleague cares about
• Share your intention behind your feedback
• Provide a comfortable and supportive environment for your colleague to hear your feedback — simply by asking the question, “Hey, I’d love to talk to you about some feedback that I have. Can we jump on the phone?”

A model that’s often used to give specific feedback is SBI: Situation, Behavior, Impact. 

For example: 

• (S) We were all giving our updates. 
• (B) I noticed you went significantly over the allotted 2-minute speaking time. 
• (I) A few other teammates didn’t have a chance to speak up. I wonder if there’s a better way to condense your feedback for our meetings and share some of these deeper details elsewhere. 

It’s about being thoughtful and respectful of the receiving party’s emotions — establishing camaraderie and a dialogue rather than approaching the other person in a domineering manner.

Examples of constructive feedback

Constructive feedback is about finding alignment. Remember that the person receiving the feedback does not know that he or she is doing something that requires critical attention. Not to mention, the person delivering the feedback may even be in the wrong. That’s why, when delivering constructive feedback, it’s about approaching the situation as a conversation and collaboration rather than judgment.

Creating space for others

Are you encountering a situation at work where people are talking over each other? Perhaps it’s a few folks on the team who are taking up all the meeting space.

This is fairly common behavior, especially in remote workplaces where people can’t “read the room.” It’s also a pattern that systematically impacts women, people of color, and marginalized workers. 

Most likely, the people doing the speaking are well-intentioned, enthusiastic, and have a lot on their minds to share. However, the dynamic can feel oppressive and inhibiting for people struggling to speak up. With this line of feedback, it’s important to acknowledge that the receiving party is coming from a good place.

“Hey Jenny. Your leadership is spot-on during our 8:00 AM team meetings when others are feeling less energized. However, I’m missing hearing from our other team members. Something that may help us all is if you could take more time to pause, so others can speak up as well.”

In this situation, the feedback is outcome focused. It also acknowledges Jenny’s strengths and best intentions, so she does not feel bad. Ultimately, the feedback will help Jenny become a more effective leader.

Showing more recognition

Self-advocacy is crucial at work. But talking about ourselves can be difficult. In fact, many of us are too hard on ourselves and may express the full value that we bring to the table. That’s why it’s important for us to actively speak up on behalf of our teammates.

Especially for your teammates who are managers, the ability to advocate for others’ contributions is important to the wellbeing of the organization. 

“Hey Maxine. I noticed that when you presented the project outcomes, you didn’t mention the efforts of your team. Recognition is an important part of being a manager, so we are all continually aware of each other’s contributions, and I want to help you develop it. Would you be open to a conversation?”   

In this situation, the feedback is in the form of an invitation to a discussion. It’s not about “schooling” Maxine. It’s about opening her eyes and supporting her journey.

Improving dependability

Is your otherwise-talented colleague having trouble meeting deadlines, making more mistakes, or struggling with the pace at which the rest of the team is operating? 

Ever since the pandemic began, an increasing number of people have been in this situation. The switch to hybrid and remote work have been an adjustment, on a human level, for everyone. Not to mention, people are getting sick and experiencing challenges outside of their individual control. The solution to this situation is to support the individual rather than potentially making them feel worse.

“John, I just want to check in as your coworker. I know things have been bumpy for everyone lately. Is everything okay? I noticed you missed a few deadlines recently. Is there anything I can do to help out?”

Most likely, John already knows that he’s struggling but may not know how to ask for support. In this way, constructive feedback can help facilitate a solution — and a stronger team culture overall.

Encouraging independent problem-solving

One of the best parts of work is the opportunity to collaborate with smart people. It’s understandable that your teammate might be coming to you to ask questions and solve problems.

But sometimes, you may just want to say, “no” for whatever reason. After all, you need to focus on your own work. Perhaps you, yourself, are an independent thinker. 

It’s understandable that you might even be feeling frustrated when your coworker comes to you for help. These are moments when you can encourage your teammate to step out on their own. The key is to offer prescriptive guidance.

“Anne, I know we’ve been working together lately to help you build your writing skills. You’ve advanced a lot in a short amount of time. To crystalize these skills, it’s better for you to work through some of these challenges on your own. You can check out [resource X] for help.”

You can also be more upfront about the situation.

“Anne, I appreciate that you come to me asking for help building your writing skills. Lately, I’ve been swamped with deadlines and am unable to give you the attention that you need. Why don’t you take a crack on this topic, on your own, and share a more polished version when you’re ready?”

In both situations, the goal is to help Anne envision herself as a more independent thinker — to help her build self-confidence rather than turning her away. After all, there’s a reason why she is coming to you for support. Above all, she respects you.

The psychology of constructive feedback

Put short: we need constructive feedback to become better. It's a powerful motivator for self-improvement. In fact, the World Economic Forum focused on this topic at a recent annual meeting and shared that “people are more willing to hear constructive feedback than we realize.” Studies have also shown that people value directive feedback to improve their performance.

However psychologists at the forefront of this research have also found that “that the skills needed for both delivering and receiving constructive criticism are not always intuitive,” according to the American Psychological Association. 

One important consideration is whether your work environment provides a sense of psychological safety. It’s understandable, given how commonplace regular layoffs have become, that even the highest performers may be feeling insecure about their jobs. On a team where people are feeling worried, critical feedback has the potential to be harmful — especially in remote work environments where it’s challenging to interpret voice and tone.

In these situations, it’s important to pick up the phone or hop on a Zoom call. Focus on delivering feedback in a more human way and reassure the recipient of your intentions.  Voice and tone matter, especially given the bigger picture reality that distrust has become the dominant societal emotion.

Putting ideas into action

Constructive feedback has the potential to be enriching and career enhancing. After all, we are lucky to be working alongside brilliant teammates. We become better when we coach each other.

To build a respectful coaching culture, one throughline is to approach constructive feedback as a conversation. Rather than forcing your perspectives on the receiving party, take a step back and create space for a healthy discussion. Perhaps begin the conversation with a question, to ensure that you’ve established a foundation of camaraderie and respect.

You can even set an example by asking for constructive feedback yourself.

Two-way conversations are mission-critical. After all, when it comes to feedback, listening is as important as delivering information. What happens if you’re wrong?

Talk with someone rather than “at” them.