7 tips when asking your reports for feedback during your next one-on-one

Feedback is important to your growth as a manager, but not all feedback is useful. Here are tips on how to ask for actionable feedback from your direct reports. 

1. Let them warm-up 

Avoid catching your employee off-guard with a sudden request that puts them on the spot. Instead, let them warm-up by asking, "Is now a good time to ask for feedback from you?", or "I’d love to hear 2 things I can improve on from that meeting. Are you free to share them now or would you prefer to chat later?”

For potentially sensitive topics, ask for feedback at least 24 hours ahead of time. You’ll be more likely to get helpful feedback if you give people time to put some thought into it. Here are two examples: 

• One of my development goals is to become a better manager. I would really appreciate your honest input. In next week’s 1-on-1, could you please share an example of a time you think I did something well as a manager, and one example of a time I could have done better?
• I’m working on becoming a more efficient meeting facilitator. After tomorrow’s meeting, would you be willing to share your thoughts about agenda items we spent too much time on and ones that seemed productive?

2. Share your intention in asking for feedback 

People will be more likely to share feedback if they know your intent is positive.

It’s not enough to assume they know your intent, especially if you are just building your relationship and trust. So, better be explicit by stating your intent before you ask for feedback. For example, you could say: 

• The reason I’m asking is that I care about being a good manager and want to improve.
• The reason I’m asking is that I’m working on [insert skill] and want to see how I’m doing.

3. Ask "What should I do more/less of"

Instead of you asking, "What do I do well" or, "What should I improve", ask “What should I do more of?” and “What should I do less of?” These questions generally lead to a similar answer - but the more specific phrasing helps people provide an actionable answer.

4. Ask for specific feedback

Employees might not be sure what is ‘safe’ or acceptable to bring up when asked the question, “Any feedback for me?” Just like we encourage you to give feedback that’s specific, ask for specific feedback using the SBI Model. 

Situation : Behavior : Impact - example 

• (S) In our team meeting. 
• (B) I noticed only a few teammates participated.
• (I) I’d like to hear more voices. What can I do to improve and invite participation for more of the team? How did it feel for you?

5. Ask for feedback during every one-on-one

It’s important to make both giving and asking for feedback a habit. Ask for feedback during every 1-1 meeting. Over time, this will make feedback easier for your employees to give, and easier for you to receive.

6. Listen and ask clarifying questions

Reacting defensively is the number one way to never get honest feedback again. Make sure you use a warm, gentle tone and that your questions aren’t framed as excuses. You don’t want your direct report to feel interrogated. For example:

Your direct report: “Well, sometimes you can have kind of unreasonable expectations about deadlines.” 

You: “Thanks for being honest — that’s really good to know. Could you share an example of a time I did that so that I understand?”

You won’t get honest feedback from your team if they don’t feel safe. And they won’t feel safe if you react poorly. Thank every team member who shares feedback with you. And mean it.

If you’re having an emotional reaction or need some time to process before you can ask questions, explain that you’ll follow up later. You could say something like, “Thank you for sharing that feedback. I’m going to give this some thought and will follow up with you in our next 1-1.”

7. Follow up on the feedback you receive

Tell your employee what you intend to do with the feedback. For example, “Thanks so much for your feedback, Frank. You make a great point. I’m going to work on talking less during meetings and making sure others get the opportunity to weigh in. If it’s OK with you, I’d also like to check in with you in our 1-1s to see if you notice any progress.”

You don’t need to take every piece of feedback though. Be sure to close the loop so that an employee will feel heard and know what to expect from you. Here’s an example of what you might say if you don’t take the feedback:

• Thanks so much for your feedback, Frank. I’ve given it a lot of thought. While hearing your feedback about my meeting facilitation was helpful, I’ve decided to prioritize another behavior change right now — committing more time to coach the team. But it means a lot to me that you were honest and I’m going to continue asking for your input.

You might even go one step further and open up communication about their development plans with the entire team.

• I wanted to take a few minutes in today’s team meeting to let you know that I received some great input about my tendency to talk too much in group discussions. I realize I haven’t been doing enough to make sure you all have the chance to weigh in. While I won’t be able to make this change overnight — behavior change is hard — I’m going to work on it and I may ask for additional feedback in the future to see whether I’ve improved.